Self-flagellation seems to be a specialty of mine. As such, I found myself in an information session about sleep for babies older than six months today run by our local Child Health centre. I constantly live in fear that we’ll lose the precious sleep balance we’ve gained in the last six weeks. So, when some of the other Mums from my mother’s group signed up, I thought it would be a good idea for me to do so too.
The issue is that Little Birdie’s (LB) sleep issues are more complex than a general information session can address. I know this but I still hope there will be some magic answer that will help me to relax in the knowledge that the bad old days won’t return. Of course, that is an unrealistic expectation, and so today’s session was always going to be a let down.
It does drive me nuts that the information given in such sessions is so vague, consisting of what is virtually a string of platitudes, rather than concrete strategies that can help those in trouble. I know there are better answers out there and I was able to access excellent help at the sleep school we attended, but it took me six months to get there. My husband and I were on our knees by the time the help became available. In fact, I was on the edge of a nervous break down. Now that we have graduated, I feel terrified that things will go wrong again, because I know that it is so hard to get more help if we need it and it would take months to get back into the sleep school again.
However, as frustrated as I get by these things, it’s important to focus on the positive. In the scheme of things, today’s session was worthwhile. I learnt a tip for dealing with older babies when they stand up in the cot and you want them to lie down. Apparently, it’s best to sit down yourself and get down on their level and they will most likely follow you. I’ll be filing that away for when LB is standing. At the rate she’s moving, that will be the near future! I also had a chance to ask the nurse a couple questions about diet after the session. As it turns out, I need to give LB less banana, because it’s causing her a few bowl troubles. That was a shame to hear, as LB loves banana. I will have to be a little more creative with the fruit I offer her.
Overall, I think my frustration speaks to some wider issues. According to the nurse who spoke to us today, poor sleeping in babies is largely a first world problem. Apparently, this is because we tend to expect our babies to sleep away from us, when in the third world, children often sleep with their parents and mothers carry their babies more. The SIDS guidelines are very effective in saving babies’ lives but they also discourage sleeping on the belly and co-sleeping, two things that can help babies sleep better. I know LB started sleeping better after she learned to roll and has slept on her tummy ever since. There is also the issue of how isolated new parents are. The old cliché says it takes a village to raise a child but we have very little help available to us. My mother is still working full time and my mother-in-law still tutors, so they have other commitments. I also realize so much knowledge about raising children has been lost from our society. I mostly relied on the Internet to find answers in the early days of LB’s life and the advice varies in quality.
In conclusion, I will still keep educating myself about the best ways to support LB to sleep but it’s not easy. At the end of the day, you can only do your best. Attending today’s session was not a waste of time but it reminded me of why parenting is challenging. However, as the old saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. LB teaches me to be a better person every day and, one day, I’ll look back on this and know it was all worthwhile. In the meantime, I just wish LB sweet dreams!